I’ve been spending a lot of time in a state of at least partial self-loathing. Not generally a total meltdown, but a twinge of “I’m not good enough” or “this is awful” seems to stain everything that I do.
Last night, while my S.O. (significant other) filled out some stressful paperwork, she asked me a few questions about what they were looking for. I answered, was supportive, and was her cheerleader, while I considered trying to make a budget. Suddenly, I noticed a totally different feeling. I was the version of myself that I actually like, one that I think I actually embody quite often, but that I completely shun and forget about when I am feeling down.
I am capable. I am an adult in a complex world with a complex personality, but I am still capable of surviving day to day, of supporting others in a productive way, and of being the person that I actually like.